SFPC: Day 52 - Exhaustion, Poetics vs. Computation

Today we had Caitlin Morris’ arduino class. I was very tired and had trouble staying focused in class. Cold, cold rain, rain, rain.

Dolce Vita rain

Caitlin's Class

Some video I took of classmates presenting their projects.

I took an Uber home because I was deathly tired and I had to carry a bunch of stuff.

I'm Tired: A Rant

New York is tough. It takes an hour on the train to get to school, and an hour to get home. I’ve probably slept in 15-20 rooms since living in New York. Granted, some of them were airbnbs, but the reason I booked those airbnbs was because I sleep on a couch in a working class neighborhood in Brooklyn.

I guess this is an appeal to whoever reads this blog. I’ll ask you, reader, to forgive the irregularity and lack of depth in my recent posts. I feel like I’ve lived two years in two months. It has made me stronger.

I’ll ask you to forgive the lack of computation-related content. I guess what I’ve realized is that poetics will always be the more appealing part of “Poetic Computation”. In my eyes, poetics is life, sentiment, nature, humanity, the cosmos, so on and so forth. Poetics is rhythm and time.

By contrast, computation is only a powerful and complex calculator capable of accomplishing things thought previously thought impossible. Computation is poetic, but poetics contains computation, and all other tools and modes of thinking. In my opinion.

People are more interesting to me than computers. Computers are just a man-made artifact. An expression of humanity’s ingenuity and inherent cultural biases.

I love computers. I grew up with them. I was 10 when the internet became available to consumers in the US.

The internet is non-ironically in my blood.

Therefore, a love of computers and computation is in my blood.

Arduino table

I think I’ve struggled at SFPC because, besides time commitments, it’s not always apparent to me how centers concepts and elements of computation are poetic.

“Why do I need to learn this?”, is always a question, especially when a time commitment of hours or more is involved.

I know this sounds like a post-mortem of my time at SFPC, and maybe it is. That’s ok.

I’m ready to move on. I’m still digesting the experiences I’ve had so far - however, we still have two more weeks!

I’m ready to move on because I’m tired of:

  • sleeping on a couch and paying $1000 to do so(watch out for airbnb, kids).
  • two hours of travel time on the train every day.
  • not being able to work because I have to attend class. Art is great, theory is great, but those things don’t pay for food, room, and healthcare.
  • not having any of my own space. I wake up in a shared space, I go to school in a shared space, I go to sleep in a shared space. I need to be able to go to a place where no one can bother me.
  • cleaning up after people in said shared spaces. Is it just that creative people are necessarily messy people? I don’t know, but I feel like I’m the only one who cleans at home and at school. It used to frustrate me. I’ve accepted it.

With regards to my time at SFPC, I could pontificate on ‘what if I’d done this or that differently?’ but there’s no point. I accept that, in life, you make decisions, you live with them, sometimes things turn out for the best or sometimes they don’t.

I have no regrets about my time at SFPC. In a weird way, it’s been everything I’ve ever wanted, but really disappointing in certain ways. But that’s a topic for another post.

For Lunch:

Thai green curry and mashed potatoes.

For Dinner:

French fries, sriracha, some fancy cookies, beet juice. Bodega dinner.

Written on December 1, 2016